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A Chance Encounter

I was wearing mirrored sunglasses when the officer pulled me over. I rolled down the window. She was wearing mirrored sunglasses too. We looked at each other. The number of reflected reflections seemed to ricochet into infinity. Time seemed to freeze as we held each other's gaze, seemingly trapped in an endless hall of mirrors.

"I can see eternity in your eyes," I finally said.

"I can see a speeding ticket in your hands," she replied.

Then we parted ways.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Back to the Future

As we are communicating so much with emojis these days, it occurs to me that after thousands of years and the development of complex languages, we have come full circle and are back to being like cavemen telling stories with simple drawings on the cave wall.

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Otto Correct

When you misspell something during a Google search you'll typically get a message that says "Did you mean __________?" and it offers a corrected approximation of your intent.

I believe it would be great to have that Google feature for marital and parental communication.

Spouse: "Wow, are you really going to wear that?"

Google: DID YOU MEAN.... "You look so good in that outfit. Quick, let's go somewhere really nice so I can be seen with you."

Child: "I'm not going to clean my room and you can't make me!"

Google: DID YOU MEAN.... "I feel so blessed to have you as my parents, along with the free meals, housing, and utilities, that the least I can do is clean and organize my room."

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Dr. Presson's Sports Guide to Marriage: Part 23

When your spouse begins talking while you're....

a) watching SportsCenter or The Real Housewives of Duluth

b) trying to listen to a voicemail message

c) thinking

d) trying to sleep

This is the perfect time to employ the Tennis Chair Umpire Technique.

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Simply lean in as if speaking into a microphone and say in a European accent of your choice, "Quiet, please."

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How to Paint a Room Together and Stay Married

1. Make a list of all needed materials.

2. Go to store and buy everything on the list.

3. Make another trip for materials you didn't think to put on the list

4. Put painters tape around door frames, windows frames, baseboards, and ceiling.

5. Underestimate amount of primer needed.

6. Make another trip to store.

7. Begin doing trim work with primer.

8. Regret buying cheap clear plastic drop-cloth that sticks to your feet like Saran Wrap.

9. Start painting and realize this is not the correct paint color.

10. Look at each other and nod.

11. Search for that painter guy's business card.

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I have developed THE solution for de-escalating couples conflict with this simple 3-step process:

1. Couples must pause their argument just long enough to

2. put on Crest teeth whitening strips, then

3. resume the argument.

But, Dr. Presson, how does something as simple as wearing whitening strips actually reduce conflict?

Just TRY having a serious argument with a straight face when both of you look and sound goofy. I dare you.

The three benefits of this technique are...

1. Less contempt

2. More laughter

3. Whiter teeth

You're welcome. Try it and let me know how it works so I can send you a bill.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Helpful Hints for Husbands: #168

Q: What should you do when you do a load of laundry at your wife's request and forget to put in the laundry detergent?

A: Put two scented Cling Free sheets in the dryer and keep your mouth shut.

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Show & Tell

A married client asked me to define passive-aggressive behavior and give an example. I sent this photo.

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Last Wishes

Interviewer: Dr. Presson, what would you like for people to say at your funeral?

Ramon: "Look! He's moving!"

Ramon Presson, PhD, is a licensed marriage & family therapist in Franklin,  (www.ramonpressontherapy.com)  the author of multiple books, and a member of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists. He can be reached at [email protected].