ramon presson marriage

“Blessed is he who learns to laugh at himself for he shall never cease to be entertained.”  -John Boswell

“A man without a sense of humor is like a wagon with no springs. He is jolted by every pebble in the road.” -Henry Ward Beecher

The marriage journey can be a bumpy ride. Couples who find humor in the day-to-day annoyances, disagreements and quirks of married life are more likely to go the distance. Multiple research studies have shown that humor has a positive impact on marriage and creates more stability.

Below are 25 tweets from experienced travelers to help you and your partner laugh at this wonderful comedy called marriage.

My husband won't let me pick up wood at Home Depot because he doesn't want it scratched or bent but I can take care of his children daily.

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My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday so the UPS guy knocked on our door to see if we’re OK.

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My husband ticked me off yesterday so I bought another half-dozen throw pillows for our bed.

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Wife: Are you going to walk around all day without a shirt on?

Me: Just giving you a show.

Wife: Can I change the channel?

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Covid has been tough on me socially. I miss how my wife would say “he’s a rescue” when I misbehaved at parties.

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Still waiting for my husband to apologize for what he did in my dream last night.

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I have a cold and it’s pretty bad but my wife has a husband with a cold and apparently that’s way worse.

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During quarantine my wife and I play this fun game called “Why Are You Doing It That Way?”  There are no winners.

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I forgot to use a coupon my wife gave me and I’m not sure if I should go home or disappear and start a new life.

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Dating:  I can’t wait to see you again.

Marriage: Part of your knee was on my side of the bed again last night.

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My wife asked me if she had any “annoying habits” and then got all offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

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I sent my husband a nude photo and he asked me which mole I was worried about.

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In 34 years on this planet I’ve learned one very important lesson that I want to pass on to you fellas. She can eat your fries. You cannot eat hers.

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*wife runs back into their house which is on fire*

Husband: What are you doing!?

Wife: I just want to straighten up a little before the firemen get here

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Me: Mom, what’s your secret to 55 years of marriage?

Mother: We never hated each other on the same day.

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Me and my husband have been married for 11 years. I know it’s true love because starting at 5AM every single morning his alarm goes off like 4 or 5 times, and he’s still alive.

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Wife: You’re doing it wrong.

Me: What?

Wife: *motions vaguely in the direction of my entire life*

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Marriage is alright if you like someone coming home and telling you about their day in the middle of your movie.

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My husband came home late “from work” with Krispy Kreme donut flakes on his sweater but no donuts. Now I know what it’s like to be cheated on.

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I’m no expert on winning over women but making them a grilled cheese sandwich with the butter spread all the way to the edges is undefeated so far.

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There are two kinds of people. The ones who begin packing six days before a trip, and the ones that wake up the day-of and realize they need to do a load of laundry. And they marry each other.

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Accidentally forgot to pat my husband’s butt when he bent over this morning and he spent the entire day thinking I was mad at him.

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When boxes arrive from Amazon I just tell my husband they’re Christmas presents for him and he doesn’t ask questions.  I should probably buy him something soon.

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During the pandemic my wife and I are both working from home. Today for lunch she microwaved tuna fish.  I’m reporting her to HR.

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My husband asked me do something creative and special for dinner, so I drew a cute picture of a dog on a napkin and put it next to his plate of Hamburger Helper.

Ramon Presson, PhD, is a licensed marriage & family therapist in Franklin (www.ramonpressontherapy.com)  the author of multiple books, and a member of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists. He can be reached at [email protected]

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